Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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