yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
