weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i will never coherently bang her
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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