i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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