Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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