$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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