That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
