So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
