Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
