she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
