Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
