I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
