my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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