Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
