So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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