STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
