I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize