Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
