Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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