Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
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