im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
