im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
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did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Success! We fucked roommates!
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