remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
