FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
the liver wants what the liver wants
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
