Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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