I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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