he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
