i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
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Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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