he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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