And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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