Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize