I looked at my own cervix.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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