where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
