can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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