is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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