hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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