I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
