butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
