lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
