woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
