Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
