a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
