how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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