Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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