anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize