careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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