mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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