why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
