How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
