I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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