your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
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