Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
