there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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