my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
