At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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