I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
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His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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