He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize