my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
