Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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