btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I think I won the penis lottery.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
3pm strippers are depressing
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
